The Lost Battle. Fuck Cancer!

I haven’t posted in a while.

I’ve been angry. I’ve been down. I’ve been sad.  I cried more these last few months than I did since I think my last breakup with an ex in 2009. 

My sweet wonderful dear uncle lost his battle with cancer.  He rest his head to eternal peace and I’ve been restless since.

I want it to be known that in the 2 years of battle he never once gave up.  He fought to the very end! But unfortunately his organs could not handle the chemo therapy anymore.  Watching a loved one suffer is the most heart wrenching thing and to not even be able to do anything about it is unbearable.
I miss him.  I feel like I lost an uncle, a big brother and a father all in one.  He was a good person and i don’t understand WHY he had to suffer like this…. 

We held a beautiful memorial service for him and honored his life with family and loved ones.  I felt some peace knowing he wasn’t in pain anymore…. but I still miss him…

My sister and I spoke at the funeral (as hard as it was).  Here are the words we shared:

On behalf of the family we’d like to Thank you all for being here today to honor my uncles life. We know some of you had to travel great distances to be here today. As most of you may already know , we are parissa and nikki, Ali’s nieces. Although he was an uncle by family relation, for us he was so much more. He was a father figure. He loved us as if we were his own daughters. He was our big brother at the same time. When we were little girls, he would play with us and chase us around the house. He would even let us put make up on him and braid his silky beautiful black hair. He never missed a birthday, a special event, or just simply an opportunity to come over and eat dinner. He loved Persian rice dishes or as he called it “pelllaaaaa”. 

As adults he would support us, give plus confidence boost when we felt insecure, and make us laugh when we needed it most. He was always so fun to have around and his sense of humor is one of the many things we loved most about him.

He played an influential role in all of our lives. It seems he left an imprint on anyone he came across. One of our many favorite memories is that when we lived in Iran, we would be so excited for him to come back from his travels and bring us something from wherever he went. For those of you that don’t know, western music is illegal in Iran but somehow he snuck in a cassette of our favorite boy band , Backstreet Boys, from his travel to Nepal. We were over the moon excited and played that cassette until the tapes ripped off. Also anyone who knows him, knows how much he loved photography. He is the reason why we love photography as he bought each of us our first cameras. 
I’ll never forget how one day he was napping on the couch after his delicious pelllaaa and I was doing my homework near him. Moments later I heard the waste management truck outside being very loud. Suddenly Ali jumped up, grabbed his camera and ran outside. Being confused as to what had just happened I waited until he came back inside the house. About 10 minutes later he walked in and sat next to me to show me a picture he had taken so proudly of the waste management truck, the driver and himself. 

We admired his determined yet free soul. He had the opportunity to work for the united nation which was always his dream. He also worked for the world bank and most recently Ca Environmental protection agency. He took pride in his job, in helping the underprivileged, and in saving the earth. He worked in Afghanistan and Sri Lanka in not so ideal conditions to educate the people and help build a safe and clean environment for them. I don’t know if many of us would’ve been brave enough to do the same. We always called him Macho Man. 

There’s nothing more heart wrenching than watching a loved one suffer and you not being able to do anything about it. Ali suffered a lot the last two years and so did we. Even still, till the very last minute of his life here with us, he managed to make jokes and make us laugh as we cried. We somehow find comfort in knowing he is closer to God now. That he isn’t in pain anymore. And that he is waiting for us and watching over us along with other family members who’ve moved on to the next life. 

I do not need to tell you about all the good things that “were Ali ” and I do not need to convince you that he was special cause your being here today tells me he has touched your lives too.
We still hear his voice and laughter around the house. It’s hard to accept he’s not around anymore. His memories will remain in our hearts forever and he will be missed every single day.

Until we meet again. Rest In Peace our beloved Ali.


The Girl With The Eyebrows 

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